For Washtenaw Community College instructor Angela Guy-Lee, attending an important event like her daughter’s induction ceremony to the National Honor Society eclipses most everything else.
“This is one of those things you know that your kids will remember if you’re not there,” Guy-Lee said.
Finding a way to juggle the demands and guilt of pursuing an education when already busy with life, work and children can be challenging for everyone involved. Because parent students have responsibilities and commitments that can put a strain on their families, it is important to ensure that children aren’t forgotten in the rush to betterment.
“Especially for non-traditional students, it’s harder because they are balancing so much more than those students fresh from high school, still living with their parents, with no bills, no spouse, no job, and no children. It’s harder – it really is,” Guy-Lee said.
Angie Underdahl, 31, is a working mother who knows that juggling a full-time job, two classes and a child is difficult. (Bob Conradi/The Washtenaw Voice)
“I try my best to get school work done during the week and focus on my family on the weekends,” said Angie Underdahl, 31, a social work major from Deerfield and working mother of a 2 year-old-son.
“My son does get annoyed when I’m trying to study and can’t play with him right at that exact moment, but I know that my choice to be in school right now is something that will benefit him in the future,” Underdahl said.
Being a stay-at-home parent doesn’t always make it any easier. Children are often comfortable with a particular process at home and a parent starting at college can change that.
“I scheduled all my classes for weeknights and Saturday and Sunday,” said Chad Doxey, 36, a liberal arts student from Ann Arbor and father of three.
“I only have one kid at home with me during the day so it is not that much of juggling. We always eat dinner together, and I make sure to ask them about their school and in turn tell them about mine,” Doxey said.
Including children in the parent’s educational process helps ease any feelings of guilt for not having time for them, while also showing them the importance of getting an education. Taking advantage of available extended family and friends is also a way to ease the burden on the parent and keep things as normal as possible for the child.
“I don’t feel guilty because my son is blessed with so many people who love to spend time with him. He probably doesn’t miss me one bit,” Underdahl said.
The real key may be just to put the importance of the education in focus and keep things light and fun at the same time.
“I take advantage of travel time in the car with my son and instead of talking on the phone or listening to the radio, my son and I talk and sing,” Underdahl said.
“For the most part, my kids like it when I’m at school because I am the main disciplinarian. When Mom is in charge while I’m gone they feel they can get away with more,” Doxey said. “My oldest said it would be funny if I took fewer classes and was still in college when he goes. Um, yea, that’s real funny, dude. Not!”
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