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The secret to marital bliss is a piece of knowledge very few claim to hold. Yet every day another couple announces their engagement and exchanges vows. And, if all goes as planned, neither will ever have to play the dating game again.
But for those who haven’t been so lucky as to find their soul-mates at the club, in class, during the Sunday sermon or at the annual office party, don’t give up hope just yet. A number of new alternatives to simply hanging at your local watering hole are quickly gaining popularity – mainly on the Web. Online dating services claim unprecedented success, such as eHarmony’s statement, “236 eHarmony members marry every day in the United States as a result of being matched on the site.” But does it really work? Or are all the commercials just marketing ploys for the businesses that make them? Of course, to get an accurate take on how these sites work – and if they work at all – we felt a first-hand approach was best. So we set up accounts on five of the most popular dating Web sites – Chemistry, Cupid, eHarmony, Match and Plentyoffish. The profile for Jan, or nice girl looking for a good guy, was set up for two weeks using a photo of a Voice staff member – and a lot of fake information. We checked the accounts every day, kept track of everything that happened – or didn’t, and this is what we came up with: |
CategoriesCost: Profile: Meet People: Online Activities: Creeper Factor: |
| Chemistry | Cupid | eHarmony | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cost |
Six-month, $26.95 Three-month, $33.32 One-month, $49.95 |
Gold membership – 12-month, $8.33 Three-month, $14.98 One-month, $29.95 Platinum membership –12-month, $10.33 Three-month, $18.33 One-month, $35.95 |
12-month, $19.95 Six-month, $29.95 Three-month, $39.95 One-month, $59.95 |
| Profile | Takes about 30 minutes. Most of the questions are kind of interesting, but there are about 45 of them, which is exhausting. | Takes about 30 minutes. All the questions are broken up into different categories. So you don’t have to answer all the questions at once before the profile is considered ready to view potential dates. | Filling out this profile feels like forever and a lifetime. In reality, it’s only a little more than an hour, but the questionnaire is filled with page after page of questions. |
| Meet People | You have very little control over who you are matched with on this site. After filling out the profile, you are set into a personality type – explorer, director, builder or negotiator – and from that the site pairs you with potential matches based on research done by Dr. Helen Fisher, the world-renowned biological anthropologist, author and expert in the science of human attraction. | This service offers both the search and matches option. So you can specify what you want under the search tab, or you can click the various other categories to see who has viewed your profile, messaged you, or, my favorite, winked at you. | You have no control over who you’re are matched with through this service. All matches are made based on 29 Dimensions of Compatibility, developed by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a clinical psychologist and marriage counselor of 35 years. |
| Online Activities | Send a message | Wink, send a message, text chat or video chat | There are a series of question you to answer about a potential relationship before making contact with a potential match. After you’ve answered them, you can message using eHarmony mail. | Creeper Factor | 4: Real names are used, which is a bonus, but it seems like a lot of the members are secret cyber-sex junkies, or just have a kind of perverted sense of humor. But after you’ve been a member for a little while the crazies tend to stop messaging. | Probably the least creepy of all the dating services that allow free online messaging. But there are still no real names used, and “badtbone” is just not a good conversation starter… unless you kill cows for a living. Creeper factor comes in at a six. | There is absolutely nothing scary about this Web site. If there are any creepers posing as nice people, who just happen to have trouble finding the right person, eHarmony hides them well. Creeper level: one |
| Match | Plentyoffish | Ashley Madison Agency | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Cost |
Six-month (plus membership), $17.99 Six-month, $16.99 Three-month, $19.99 One-month, $34.99 |
Free |
Free to casual users. The “Affair Guarantee Program”, $249 |
| Profile | Takes about 30 minutes. The site has the questions broken up on to multiple small pages, so it doesn’t feel like an eternity. |
Takes about 10 minutes. By far the easiest profile to fill out – it’s just a page of drop-down boxes and two short essays. They don’t even ask for your real name. |
Takes about 10 minutes. Most of the questions involve your intimate likes and dislikes, as well as what you need from your potential partner, but you can also include less personal information, like a general interest in playing hockey. |
| Meet People | Both the search and matches options are available through this service. Everything is based on research done by Dr. Phil, the renowned TV relationship doctor. | It’s all up to you here. There is a search engine at the top of the page where you can plug in exactly what you’re looking for and a list of potentials will pop up for browsing pleasure. It really is a lot like fishing – you never know how big or ugly the thing will be at the end of your line. | This site uses the “search” method entirely. Type in what you’re looking for and a list of potential matches, with all of their personal information, pops up below. |
| Online Activities | Wink or send a message | Message, give a rose or send a gift | If you’re interested in a particular person, you can message, send a free gift, chat or wink at them. |
| Creeper Factor | It seems like there are two sides to this site. One is filled with creeps and the other has a number of normal-looking people. If you stick to letting Dr. Phil find your soul-mate, you should be safe. A six on the creeper scale seems about right. | Most of the members on this site seem to be honest in what they’re looking for, and it’s usually a long-term relationship or marriage. But there are definitely some crazies too, and everyone is known only by their username. It gets a seven on the scale. | If you’re looking for an affair, this looks to be the one-stop shop. They have everything from people in search of a long-distance, long-term relationship, to the expected, “hit it and quit,” crowd. All morals aside, the site gets a two on the creeper scale. After all, nobody has a membership to this site unless they’re trying to spice things up. |
Dating DictionaryAfter the tireless hours spent being hit on, winked at and pretty much left with a big, “oh my…” smile on our faces, we realized there was more to learn than how to sign up and maneuver through these sites. You also have to be cyber savvy, and know what these potentials really mean when “I just have to say…you’re absolutely perfect,” shows up in the inbox. Because it’s a sure-fire guarantee this person probably hasn’t gotten any in at least six months. Here are some other terms that have a completely different meaning online than off. Intelligent: has bad acne Adventurous: will do it anywhere Social drinker: borderline alcoholic Interested in Fitness: Will criticize you for every cookie you eat until the day he dumps you. Sick of playing games: gets dumped a lot Enjoys movies: overweight Enjoys movies and dining-out: obese Funny: a total dud: nobody who says they’re funny really is Dedicated to profession: will never have time for you Looking for something casual: Just wants to get some Likes long walks on the beach: Who the hell doesn’t? |
Already married?Don’t worry, we found a dating site for you too.The Ashley Madison Agency, “the world’s premier discreet dating service,” guarantees you’ll find that special affair you’ve been looking for – and if you don’t, you’ll get your money back. “Life is short, have an affair,” claims the sexually provocative Web site. Unlike other dating services, most of the personality information requested tickles toward your intimate desires, such as aggressiveness and curiosity. So whether you’re married or single, ashleymadison.com is the place to look for a potential partner in crime – while making sure she (or he) will bend over backwards for you. Who needs the annual office party anymore? |
You should take a look at okcupid.com. It’s really been getting a lot of attention lately.
You may want to mention that eHarmony while cool is homophobic. They do not allow gays on their site. Meaning if I put my profile up I can only look at the opposite sex. I think you may want to include that.