Couple that makes out in front of your biology class finally breaks up

By SOFIA LYNCH
Staff Writer

There was a strange feeling in the air at Washtenaw Community College on March 31. A bizarre air of “what you could only describe as out-of-whackness” was reported throughout the campus by various students, staff and faculty.

One Ann Arbor local even noticed it. Donald Holt, who tried to make a U-turn in one of WCC’s parking lots, while driving down Huron River Drive, reported having to pull over in the parking lot due to a sudden overwhelming feeling of disorientation.

The cause to this campus-wide state of befuddlement went unidentified until 19-year-old liberal arts student Simone Gregson made a startling discovery on her way to her 10 a.m. biology class.

“For the first time since the beginning of the semester the couple that makes out in front of my biology class wasn’t there,” Gregson said. “I was shocked… Scoffing at them was like part of my morning, you know?”

Sources say that the notorious “LA 105 lip-lockers,” 17-year-old Tiana Alan and 18-year-old Charlie Martin, split up the evening of March 30. The cause was reportedly an argument that started over the last Twinkie at the Alan household.

“I don’t really care what happened,” said Biology Instructor Michael Bolton. “I’m just happy I won’t have to see… that anymore.”

April Fools’!

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