Good riddance, women’s month

Sanaa Naeem

by SANAA NAEEM

Everyone can breathe easy again today. March, also known as “Women’s Month,” has come to a close. During the internationally recognized month to honor the achievements of women, many were quick to praise the oft-unsung lives of the fairer sex.

Now with April here, we can finally stop all of that nonsense.

Women’s success stories are no longer openly celebrated. Those boringly tasteful commercials featuring professional businesswomen and dedicated mothers are gone. Spring has sprung, so we can expect to see those ads with hot women in skimpy summer clothes that we’ve been craving all March.

At WCC, programs to encourage girls to expand their horizons are no more. Attendees don’t have to live in fear anymore about speaking freely on the hot topic of hot ladies. The Student Center is once again buzzing with talk about the popular pretties instead of those historically significant female figures like Juliette Gordon Low and Dorothy Mary Crowfoot Hodgkin, whoever they were.

Thank goodness. WCC is looking ahead, and unless we spot some cleavage, we’re not looking back.

The rest of the world is taking notice, too, or ceasing to take notice of women. Donations to non-profit organizations advancing girls’ education worldwide have seen sharp drops. Things are returning to normal as #MyAwesomeMom falls off the “Trending” page on Twitter and is replaced with #NickiMinajButt.

Ad exec Terry Larry said in an interview that the donations to associations like Girls on the Run and Every Mother Counts are “kinda like doing the Christmas season thing.

“You act in the spirit, say ‘Merry Christmas’ to everyone, cover stuff in tinsel and everything, but when it’s over, you take down the decorations, clean out the fridge, and move on to the next holiday.” Not all decorations are staying down, though, he tells us. “I can’t wait to re-hang up my bikini girls posters.”

April Fools’!