Interviews and photos By SOFIA LYNCH, Features Editor


If you lived to be 100, what would you tell people was the cause of your longevity just to mess with them?


Matt Berardi

Matt Berardi, 16, Milan, WTMC

Watch two hours of Netflix a day.




Mike RandolphMike Randolph, 17, Ann Arbor, WTMC

I ate McDonalds everyday. I’d say a chicken nugget a day did it for me.




Zack DennyZack Denny, 20, Pickney, video production

I licked to the center of a Tootsie Pop.




Andrew HornyakAndrew Hornyak, 18, Ann Arbor, general education

Not masturbating, because that would, like, ruin people lives.




Denise OsofisanDenise Osofisan, 22, Ann Arbor, social work

Eating a gallon of ice cream every night.




Alex PattenAlex Patten, 22, Ann Arbor, psychology

Do a lot of armed robberies, fights, assaults – a lot of prison time to get your hard shell.



Nina TsangNina Tsang, 14, Ann Arbor, WTMC

Do whatever you want at the moment.




Susanna MieselSusanna Miesel, 20, Ann Arbor, transfer

I would chalk it up to, like, weird sexual practices or something like that. Like, the trick is seven times a week, different positions. You guys have to experiment constantly. It balances your shakras and s—.’



Fadwa AshurFadwa Ashur, 18, Ann Arbor, liberal arts transfer

Say I killed all the tyrants.




Shawna LloydShawna Lloyd, 20, Ypsilanti, nursing

Always swallow your gum.
Sophia RussellSophia Russell, 19, Clinton, liberal arts transfer

Do a marathon every month.



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