Interviews and photos By SOFIA LYNCH, Features Editor
If you lived to be 100, what would you tell people was the cause of your longevity just to mess with them?
Matt Berardi, 16, Milan, WTMC
Watch two hours of Netflix a day.
I ate McDonalds everyday. I’d say a chicken nugget a day did it for me.
I licked to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
Not masturbating, because that would, like, ruin people lives.
Eating a gallon of ice cream every night.
Do a lot of armed robberies, fights, assaults – a lot of prison time to get your hard shell.
Do whatever you want at the moment.
I would chalk it up to, like, weird sexual practices or something like that. Like, the trick is seven times a week, different positions. You guys have to experiment constantly. It balances your shakras and s—.’
Say I killed all the tyrants.
Always swallow your gum.
Do a marathon every month.
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