Illustration by Cassandra Stewart
by JAN LLOYD HERNANDEZ
Contributor
Have you ever wondered about what a parent’s responsibility should be or what it should look like? Should a parent listen to a child’s explanation to understand them better, or should the parent just enforce what they think is right?
Well, according to the website Families Change, parents should keep their children safe, spend time with them, listen and answer questions that children ask, and set an example for them. Created by the California judicial system to help with separation and dicorce, the website specifies this applies to divorced parents, as well as those who are together.
As students, we’re witnesses to and recipients of parents’ care. As members of society, we can see instances where parents’ care falls short or plays out in unintended ways, negatively affecting a young person’s physical and mental health.
Not everything that a parent thinks is best, will work out.
I believe parents should treat children with respect and demonstrate their sense of responsibility. This could be done by avoiding struggles that could be physically and emotionally damaging. Instead of yelling at them for making mistakes, parents should teach children how to avoid those mistakes, helping them grow along the way.
Jim Bauer is both a WCC counselor and a parent.
Bauer said he believes parents’ main responsibilities are making sure children are loved and wanted. Letting a child understand the experiences of certain hardships and pain would be beneficial for growth and development, he said.
Bauer agreed that necessities such as food, shelter and a loving family are important for a child’s development. However, circumstances depend on each family and cultures, he said. In some families and cultures, kids are required to work for their necessities to develop ownership, which is reasonable for a child’s growth. Although families believe kids should work for their needs, they still have responsibilities to provide their kids with those needs as well, he said.
“It is critically important for parents to care for their child’s mental health,” Bauer said. To care for a child’s mental health, you should try to be open to listening to what they want to say or admit, not just forcing them to keep certain thoughts to themselves and only wanting to hear things you want to hear.
Respect and responsibility go hand in hand, Bauer said. A parent showing respect helps a child feel loved and promotes a sense of respect for self and others so they can avoid conflict and not be bullied.
At WTMC, counselor, Colleen Hanson, noted material support can look different depending on the family and what each can provide. Not all families have the same income or situations as others, so giving a child that kind of support and necessities will appear different, she said. But it’s important to still have the intention of nurturing a child for healthy development.
“When you bring a child into the world, you’re doing it to help them grow and develop,” Hanson said, “so the basic needs of a child; safety, a safe home, food, educational opportunities, and opportunities for growth and development.”
Hanson said caring for mental health is important for a child’s development. Having open conversations can help family members understand how to cope in certain situations. Both parent and child need to listen to one another, so they can understand one another.
Hanson, too, said respect and responsibility go hand in hand. “If parents don’t show respect towards their child, they will respond worse to the way they are treated,” she said. However, age doesn’t mean respect is automatically given, she said, it should be earned.
WTMC biology teacher, Drew Zemper, agreed parents ought to provide for childrens’ basic needs, their mental health and demonstrate mutual respect. But he addressed being over-protective, too.
Zemper said caring for mental health is important, but shouldn’t turn into coddling. Children shouldn’t feel like delicate objects and must eventually learn how to deal with situations on their own.
Zemper said he believes parents should be the ones to earn respect from their children and make them feel like they are respected.
OK, how about students’ point of view.
WTMC student, Noura Abella, said parents should provide their children with everything they need. This would also apply to mental health. She also believes that parents should be expected to respect their children since this could influence the way they act toward others.
Jayla Warren, also a WTMC student, said parents should take care of children by providing needs such as food, shelter, and love, as well as teaching them the importance of having responsibilities. She said mental health is an important subject to take care of and in some cases, can be more important than physical health. For her, respect goes both ways and is earned, not forced.
So, there are lots of similar ideas, but that doesn’t mean those are the only “correct” answers. Parenting is going to be different for every family, but parents should always try their best to make sure children have healthy growth and development. And children who may be struggling should know that other people care and understand.
You can contact the author at jarohernandez@wccnet.edu.
