“Fish are friends, not food”
Compiled by Grace Faver
Good
“Jaws” – 1975
A well thought out plot, semi-realistic mechanics and for its time, state of the art machines which makes a brilliant and iconic movie. We’ll all be quoting this film for generations to come.
“The Shallows” – 2016
Even with a minimal cast, this movie is an excellent example of what a shark movie should be: suspense, building predicaments and a killer shark. The lead character is smart, tactical and works with the environment to get to safety.
“Shark Tale” – 2004
A staple movie from many of Gen Z’s childhoods only got better with time. With quotable lines that float around the internet like the shrimp monologue, heartfelt moments of love and a song about car washes; we will remember this movie for a long time.
“The Meg” – 2018
Set in an alternate scientific reality, this film takes place in a high tech time period very like our own. But where 60 foot-long sharks dwell deep under the ocean and they are angry at humans invading their territory.
Bad
“47 Meters Down” – 2017
A woman afraid of water. A giant, rickety shark cage. What could go wrong? Everything.
“47 Meters Down Uncaged” – 2019
Four stupid teenagers with the thrill of disobeying the rules, the girls grab their scuba gear and drive down to explore the underwater caves of a sunken civilization. Of course they run into the deep dwelling sharks that call the ruins their home.
“Sand Sharks” – 2011
A plot so unbelievably unrealistic that sharks literally swim through the sand. A “Dune” wanna-be film that shows the selfishness of management is too stubborn that they won’t “close the beaches.”
Ugly
“The Requin” – 2022
This movie is a disaster and unrealistic on all accounts. A floating vacation house drifts across the sea and is besieged by a singular killer shark. Every helpful person immediately dies and the main character somehow stays alive by sheer plot armor.
“Deep Blue Sea 2” – 2018
In this film, man is stupid enough to enhance the brain capacity of great white sharks by inserting a chemical into their brain that supposedly makes the sharks obey commands and orders. Shockingly, the sharks become organized and calculated. Tada! Intelligent, man eating monsters.
“2-Headed Shark Attack” – 2012
With a corny combination of bad acting, overly beautiful models, terrible CGI and plot holes beyond belief; it births a grand adventure of blood and cut-off screams.
“Sharkula” – 2022
A home movie with as much presence as “Velocopastor,” a movie about a priest that turns into a Velociraptor. The supernatural mixes with the reality of sharks, to bring us humanoids in their thirst for not only blood; but flesh.
